I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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