Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
