when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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