all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Everyone says I win the strip club
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
