i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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