I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
