i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
