I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
