Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
