I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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