so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
