After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
