Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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