what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The struggles of a small town man whore
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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