she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
