I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I will pee on everything he values.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize