whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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