There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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