I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
