I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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