i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
