turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
