Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
