They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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