So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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