HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
