in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
