Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
