he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
