Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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