it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
