I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
