i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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