Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
