This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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