I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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