i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
