She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize