So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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