i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
