i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
