IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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