You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize