his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize