did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
