Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
