my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
