wrigley field is MILF paradise
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
