Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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