in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
