you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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