He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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