Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
