hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
