So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize