so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
