In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
