I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
