What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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