Pappa wants mamma naked
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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