After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize