he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
