How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
