I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
