He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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