HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
