not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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