Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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